What NOT to Wear

Normally there is no perfect one-size-fits-all approach to what not to wear to a boudoir session, but today I wanted to focus on something that is the wrong size for every single babe walking through my doors.

What makes you the most uncomfortable? Is it that you’re making come-get-me eyes to a camera? Or maybe that you’re half naked (or completely naked) in front of a stranger taking your pictures? Chances are those aren’t the most uncomfortable things you will experience on the day of your session. Your own words and thoughts are.

So make sure you never wear negative self-talk through my doors.

Am I serious? Completely.

Isn’t true that you’ve questioned outfits and maybe you even questioned booking a session because you looked in the mirror and found something to hate? We wear negative self-talk (including thoughts) like it’s our favorite hoodie in high school. Sometimes it comes in the form of an exasperated sigh when we catch our reflection. Maybe you feel a tightness in those jeans that’s new and immediately you begin to judge yourself for eating (because what normal human being does that?!!…oh wait, all of them).

We’ve all worn it. Negative self-talk in the form of comparison and discontent in our own skin. Maybe it’s been a habit formed from hearing it come from someone else’s mouth and it’s imprinted on your brain as second nature.

It’s ugly. Not YOU, my sweet love. But IT is so ugly. It’s uncomfortable and it’s SO unhealthy for you. In my studio, we keep it safe and that is not safe for you.

I know it’s not a switch you just turn off, so what do you do?

Let’s practice trying on new things.

Call yourself out when you start thinking about comparing yourself. When you see something you don’t like, take a deep breathe and name something good about yourself. In fact, pause and do that right now. Don’t worry we’ll pause with you…

…

See, aren’t you feeling more confident by the second? And it looks gorgeous on you, babe!

Now, repeat after me, ‘I am a unique woman, beautiful in my own skin. I am strong through my trials. I am capable of loving myself. And I am worthy of being loved well.’

Here are some thoughts from a recent outdoor session client:

“I was getting nauseous. Every time I thought about pictures of myself I was physically nauseous. I was angry at myself for feeling like this but I have always found things to hate about myself and my body. Now I would be practically naked getting pictures. I decided several times that I was crazy and should cancel because if I went through with the shoot I would hate the pictures anyway. Then I started telling myself that I wasn’t allowed to talk negatively about myself leading up to the shoot. No more ‘I’m not skinny enough’ or ‘I’m not curvy enough’. No more ‘I’ll wait until the baby weight is gone’. I’m gonna do it because I know that I’m beautiful just as I am and that’s what I want my daughter to learn too. Also because I trust Alexa. She makes you feel like a model. When she was taking the pictures it was the first “YAAAAAAASSS” that got me. She was just checking some of the pictures she had taken and I’m pretty sure I blushed because I’ve never had someone pump me up like that.”

Whatever you decide to wear, leave the negativity at home. My lens is isn’t magic and neither are my editing skills. The gorgeous women you see on my page every day are just themselves, in their own skin, taking the plunge and trusting me to capture their natural beauty.

I know it’s hard to break that cycle, but you’re worth it.

I can’t wait to see you.

My Best,

Lex